goo, twang and the sounds of silence

let us be clear about one thing. a baby with a goo coming out of their ear is never a good time.

Over the past few weeks, we have used over 500 tissues, 3 bottles of calpol, 1 bottle of calcough, we've bleached the bathtub for various bodily fluid related reasons 4 times, there have been 2 gp visits and 1 out of hours clinic. Joel now has 2 inhalers, the baby has an inhaler, there have been tantrums, tears and the evil that is technic lego in the hands of 3 year old (it has since been rehomed in the loft) It's been a bit full on in the poorly department. And now to round it off, Mummy is silent. Silently eating cake. I've had no voice since Wednesday and it doesn't seem like it wants to come on back any time soon.  Joel asks me regularly if I'm sad, because I'm not talking. I try to reassure him using mime and a tiny whisper. The baby on the other hand has started to say 'ma ma ma ma ma' while combat crawling around after me. He holds on to my face and just looks kind of confused that I won't talk back to him. He's reassured by snuggles and food.

While my voice was planning its escape route, I was reading the book 'The Help' - if you've not read it, it is brilliant and I'd highly recommend. Though be warned, if there is any sort of twang lurking inside you-- it will leap at the chance to be reawakened and used. You will find yourself breaking out your 'all y'all' and 'quit it, momma is tired of you fussin' and so it was with me, I found the lazy vowels of twang easier to operate in during the voice is tiptoeing away stage. Now it's just gone and with it the moment of twanginess. I imagine when it returns it will do so as full English.

Few things will keep you sane while dealing with poorly children, my top 3:
1) copious amounts of tea
2) masterchef the professionals (they make it look SO easy!)
3) snickerdoodle cake

Now I have wanted a brilliant snickerdoodle cake recipe for a long time. I love snickerdoodles, they are little bites of happy. However to make them is a long time of super fiddly. So something that delivers the taste, without the faff, show me where I sign up! With a little adaptation, I've made this one dairy free :)

Snickerdoodle Cake

1 cup butter (or dairy free spread)
1 1/2 cup sugar
3 eggs
1/4 sour cream (I substituted Soy yoghurt)
2 cups plain flour
1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp baking powder
1 tsp cream of tartar
1/2 tsp salt 

1/3 cup sugar
1 tbsp cinnamon

Preheat oven to 350F/180C.  Cream together the butter and the sugar. Add in the eggs 1 at a time and scrape down sides after adding each. Add in the yoghurt/sour cream and mix well. Then add in the dry ingredients and mix well.

Mix your sugar and cinnamon together and sprinkle half the mix on the bottom of a 13x9 pan. Top with the batter and then sprinkle the other half of your sugar/cinnamon mix on top. Bake for 25-30mins. You want it a little squidgy in the middle, a bit like brownies. If a tester 2 inches from the side is clean, you are good to go.  Awesome awesome awesome. They lasted less than 48 hours in this house.



 

 

yummy mummies and chillaxin

I am not a yummy mummy. I am a fake imposter wanna be yummy mummy. Yummy mummies do yoga, they do not justify curly fries on the basis that cayenne pepper is a metabolism stimulant, nor do they surmise that because the cake has pumpkin in it, then surely it counts as 1 of your 5 a day. Yummy mummies look out for their children. They do not laugh inwardly when their child face plants into a shop window out of excitement and sheer desperation for the ride on bulldozer behind the glass. Yummy mummies look chic and stylish. They wear long cardigans and are cool. They do not accidentally (and repeatedly) dip the hem of their long cardigans in potties full of wee. Nor indeed in potties of wee and bonus poo. That's just not cool. Yummy mummies are not seen at A&E with blood/tea/snot stained clothes. Yummy mummies don't get follow up calls 'just checking on your son's head injury'. Yummy mummies are way more protective of their children (and thus, less fun.) Yummy mummies have nice makeup. Someone tells them when they look like a linebacker because their mascara has smeared under their eye. They don't let them walk around like that. Yummy mummies stick together, they have appearances to protect. Other mummies just commiserate and think 'I know how she feels' but they generally, say nothing.
I am not a yummy mummy.

Yummy mummies do not 'chillax'. Yummy mummies stimulate their children with educational activities on afternoons at home when they are not taking a nap, but need to do quiet activities. They do not play Fireman Sam DVD's on a loop and leave their child unsupervised with a tin of marbles and a bowl of grapes. Just so you know, a three year old will get confused.

It is important however to instill in your child a sense of the word 'chillaxin' from an early age.

Mind you, it is also important for there to be some educational toy time as well...

and when they ask for just '5 more minutes' sometimes its okay to give in.

Because you'll need those 5 minutes to find their trousers anyway.

Yummy mummies always have children who are fully clothed. and matching.

 

 

I am definitely not a yummy mummy, but I am fun mummy, and I do eat carbs (quite regularly), and I have adventurous children, and I now wear more fitted cardigans until potty training is over, and I'm okay with that. Yummy mummies are overrated, and they don't eat cake, and they don't drink full fat lattes. And life is way to short to be doing with that. :)

 

The cake recipe is for Michael and Harry and the Pumpkin Spice Creamer is for the lovely Claire Newdick, who will need serious coffee for all the work this week!

 

 

Dairy Free/Egg Free Chocolate Cake

 

2 1/4 cups plain flour (you can use self raising, just omit the salt and baking powder)

1/2 cup cocoa powder

1 1/2 cups sugar

1 tsp baking powder

1/2 tsp salt

1 cup warm coffee (decaf is a good choice where children are involved)

1/2 cup + 1 tbsp veg oil

2 tsp of vanilla extract

 

 

Preheat oven to 350F/ 175C  grease a bundt tin if you've got it, or a large round cake tin. These also work well as cupcakes.

 

Put all the ingredients in a big bowl and give it a great big stir until they are all combined together. Pour into the tin and bake for about 35 mins until a toothpick comes clean. Though, you can also bake it 10 mins less and have a really squidgy fudgy bit, since there are no eggs. Lovely either way. Leave plain or top with icing sugar, or a glaze or more chocolate sauce.

 

Pumpkin Spice Creamer (because the UK Starbucks don't do autumnal lattes)

 

1 tin of sweetened condensed milk

1 tinful of normal milk

(full fat if you're me, semi-skim if you're other people, skim if you feel guilty)

3 heaping tablespoons of pumpkin puree 

 (I used butternut squash puree, worked just as well)

3 tablespoons of maple syrup

1 tsp of pumpkin pie spice  (The blend below gives you nearer 2 teaspoons, so save some for your next batch, or halve it and just do a large pinch of ground cloves)

• 1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
• 1/4 teaspoon ground nutmeg
• 1/4 teaspoon ground ginger
• 1/8 teaspoon ground cloves

Put all of that together in a large jug and blend together with a hand blender or serious whisking. Makes loads, but you'll drink it, because its addictive. Nice in coffee or hot chocolate. Keep it in the fridge and shake it well to re-blend it before you use it.

Hello yummy autumn......

somewhat unprepared.

Yesterday I murdered a slug. I would like to say I'm not proud, but actually, I am a little bit. It was a big fat slug and I picked it out of my strawberry patch, took it to the hedge, and disembowled it. I didn't realise slugs had bowels. I was somewhat unprepared for this and quite relieved I was by myself with my purple flowered girly trowel doing the grisly deed and going 'ooooh yuk!' Anyway, I, the slug murderer, have triumphed with a harvest of.............    One strawberry!

Joel was dead excited and happily ate it. I confess to now having a box of strawberries from Tesco, so that he doesn't get too sad if the slugs eat the rest of the slowly ripening crop.  I've really enjoyed the sweet moments of sitting on the back steps eating strawberries and throwing the green bits in the grass.



Today was a crafty make it sort of day. We needed some chilled-out-at-home activities to combat the exhaustion of the past two weeks! So we attempted cloud dough and a jellyfish in a bottle.



Cloud Dough construction zone

Jellyfish in a bottle

 

 Cloud dough review: Good fun playing, easily made up (just mix 4 cups flour, 1/2 cup baby oil) however, gets everywhere and must be proactively contained in the kitchen, on the mat.

Jellyfish in a bottle: awesome. I'm quite pleased with that one. Even Daddy was impressed. One nappy sack or veggie bag from the shop, some string and blue food colouring.  Cut the nappy sack so you have 1 flat half. Tie a string around the top for the 'head' but leave enough slack that you can put water in the head, then cut some tentacles randomly. Fill your bottle with water and a few drops of blue food colouring. Fill the head of your jellyfish with water so he sinks a bit in the water. Pop him in, cap on and turn upside down. again and again and again and again and again........... :)

Although somewhere, in what should have been an idyllic sort of mother son bonding time over strawberries and craft, there's always the discipline that just doesn't go to plan. Parenting books don't really prepare you for this one. They tell you just put little Johnny back on the step as many times as it takes for him to get it.
Well, what if, after they spit on the floor for, I don't know, the 8 millionth time, you take a more 'drastic' route and instead of the step, you sit your naked bottomed child on the cold stone floor of the bathroom and then you think 'I know, I'll shut the door! He'll be really upset by that!' Smugly you walk away, thinking, 'that'll get through to him that I am serious about no spitting.'  Then you hear a little voice going 'Ah!' followed by giggles and you realise, you've put him in the only room in the house with an echo. and he's playing. not bothered by cold floor. not bothered by your seriousness. 'Ah!' giggle giggle. 'Ah!' 'Oh!' giggle giggle giggle.   Epic discipline fail. I just left him shut in there until dinner was ready and let it go. I will recommence the war on spit another day.

 

I look up to the mountains -- does my help come from there?  My help comes from the Lord, who made the heavens and the earth! He will not let you stumble and fall; the one who watches over you will not sleep...The Lord himself watches over you! The Lord stands beside you as your protective shade. The sun will not hurt you by day, nor the moon at night. The Lord keeps you from all evil and preserves your life. The Lord keeps watch over you as you come and go, both now and forever. 

Psalm 121: 1-8

did that really just happen?

Hello, my name is Laura. I am of reasonable height and in decent shape for my size. I can wear most of my trousers without worrying about muffin top (or cake top on a bad day!) I own a lovely knitted poncho that looks like little flowers all strung together. Today, I wore my lovely knitted poncho top over my pajama top to go to the doctor to get some drugs for a fairly ouchy infection. I was attempting to look like I was not, in fact, wearing my pajamas in public. Moderate success.  As you do, when trying to fly undetected, under the radar, you meet someone you know. I met a lady I know vaguely from school in the doctors office. For the record, I look like death today.

Her opener: "Congratulations! When is your baby due?"  me: "I had him. 6 months ago."  Ouch.
Do I look pregnant? I hope not. If so, must lay off of eating cake. Or stop wearing lovely poncho.

Anyway, here are the 'Did that really just happen?' highlights of late:

1) "Your lunch went in your tummy mummy, you've got a baby in your tummy." 
NO I DO NOT.

2) "I driving my fire engine through wee wee" again, noooooooo.

3) "Why is baby Luke crying?"  "Cos I hit my bottle with the train track and it hit him." (the mind boggles at the different expressions of the same basic bullying.)

I find the best thing for times like these is something a little bit gooey, squidgy and chocolately.

Chocolate Chip Bread and Butter Pudding

8 slices bread, crusts on or off, your call.
butter/dairy free marg
chocolate bits (tesco value plain chocolate is dairy free and a steal at 30p a bar)
about 30ish g of sugar (about a 1/4 cup)
1 pint soymilk/ almond milk
2 eggs
nutmeg

Preheat your oven to 150C/ 300F.  Butter your dish, and butter your slices of bread on 1 side. I like to cut them in triangles. Use plain chocolate and enjoy cutting it up or beating out frustrations on it. Or if you feel at peace, use chocolate chips. (I used DF plain choc and it came out lovely)

Layer the buttered bread slices covering most of the bottom of the dish. Top each layer with a generous sprinkle of sugar and chocolate bits. Then mix together your soymilk and eggs and pour over the top. Let it hang out for about 30mins to let the egg and milk soak in. Have a cuppa, make some dinner....  Then sprinkle some nutmeg over the top. Pop it in the oven for 45 mins - 1hr, until its a bit golden on top and a knife in the middle comes out clean.

This version is creamier and gooeyier (sp?) than your average bread and butter pudding, but tastes like pain au chocolate only softer and more custardy. I would have a picture, but it got eaten too quickly.

slugs, stolen goods, and the art of the Spanish language.

I am now happily eating lemon blueberry cake and drinking a much much much needed cup of tea.

Today was a very busy Friday. Joel and I have been patiently waiting for our strawberry crop to fruit and ripen for us to pick and try one. We were waiting for today because our first big red strawberry was going to be ready. Daddy was out in the garden, we asked him to check on our fruit and lo and behold,  a slug had gotten there first. Right in the middle of our lovely juicy ripe strawberry a baby slug had happily munched away on half of it. I was annoyed, Joel's face was the picture of disappointment. We deemed it a naughty slug. I looked up what to do to keep slugs away--consensus seems to be eggshells or beer. Joel liked the word beer. Eggshells were what we had to hand. We then crushed all the eggshells from today (5 in total) and spread them around to defend our strawberries. Later I checked the shells were doing the job, only to find the most enormous Jabba the hut slug I have ever seen under one of my strawberry plants. So I did what you do. I flicked it 15 feet into the hedge with my trowel. Nothing messes with my berries.

We also did some much overdue DIY this week. Finishing off the trim in the conservatory (it's taken us since Sept 2010 to finish this job.) And hanging some shelves. We need to pick up some bits to tile a splashback in the downstairs loo and so we took a family field trip to Wickes. Whenever I walk in Wickes with the children, immediately, the annoucement about how parents must look after their children is played. I wonder if they have a button they push....  Anyway, we looked at tiles, decided we needed to do more research, went back to the car only to realise that Joel had tucked, under Luke's carseat, on the trolley, some particularly lovely stone border tiles. Daddy and Joel returned the stolen goods.

While making dinner- we created the kitchen mess. While it was fun--  mixing crushed cornflakes, chicken breasts, DF ranch dressing and toddlers gets messy. Then they wash their hands and dip the tea towel in the washing up bowl, lifting it up to say "It's dripping now mummy" Really? Shock.  Then we made cake. Joel's learned that he likes batter. So now instead of waiting to lick the beater or the bowl, he just tries to dig in. Managed to stop his hand, only to turn around to get blueberries out of the fridge, to find him then dipping the beater back into the batter and trying to load it into his mouth. Boy likes cake. Even not yet cooked.

On the plus side, we learned some Spanish while making all of this mess. Joel is pretty good at 'Hola' and 'Buenos Dias'. Quite liked 'bombero' as well.

Lemon Blueberry Cake

1/2 cup butter (dairy free spread)

1 1/2 cups sugar

2 eggs

zest and juice of 1 lemon

3 cups flour

1 tsp cream of tartar

1/2 tsp baking soda

1 cup milk  (can use soy or almond or oat and still turns out well)

1 pint blueberries (2 x 125g packs. They are 69p at Aldi this week. go go go)

Grease a 13x9 pan, or a tube/bundt pan. Preheat oven to 190C/375F.  Cream together the butter, sugar and eggs. Add the lemon juice and zest.  Then add the dry ingredients alternately with the milk. Dust the blueberries with flour and fold it. Pour it into the prepared pan and bake for 40-50 mins, until a tester in the center comes clean. I like to drizzle a glaze of icing sugar and lemon juice on top. Your call. Just as nice without.



hello friday

Cup of tea. check. Baby now in the jumperoo. check. Washing on. check. New pajama bottoms. check. Sheets changed. check. Time 6:45am. Ugh. Nothing says good morning quite like exploding baby poo.

It's always when they look sweet and lovely and you think, 'oh I'll just change him here in the bed, he looks so cute, maybe he'll go back to sleep really quickly after....'  Then you get the nappy off, and then you get machine gunned with poo. All over me, all over him, all over the bed. Hello Friday. Lesson learned (again) : Use the changing mat. That's what its there for.

It is though, a beautiful sunny morning and baby has been learning how to turn around in the jumperoo and so has occupied himself for the last half an hour which is a total bonus, it means I could recover with tea. Recovering with tea has rather been the theme of this last month, which has seen so much-- an ambulance ride, hospital stay, potty training, a week's holiday at the beach, the start of weaning, the change of my grandfather moving in with my parents, re mortgage of our house, the passing on of two wonderful, godly men-Bob and Andy, the deposit for the little one to go to nursery in September (means I am actually going back to work soon...), a 3rd birthday for Joel and our 8th wedding anniversary.

Sometimes you don't realise how much God has brought you through until you look back to see where you've come from.

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Philippians 4:13.

A better reading of that verse is-- 'I am strong for all things in the One [Jesus Christ] who continually infuses me with strength.'  I love that interpretation. I am not trying to do everything on my own, I am not even working from a bag of strength that was once given to me. I am able to face everything in life because I have Jesus, who is continually with me, infusing strength into me at every point. A friend of mine, on long walks back up the ginormous hill to their house, used to give her daughter raisins or grapes on the way, one every few metres to keep her going. Jesus gives strength, all along the way, so much so that when you reach the top of the hill, you don't even realise how far you've come until you look back and think, wow- look what we did.  It's not on my own, it's not Jesus on his own. It's us together. Him and I. I and Him. And that keeps me going. Along with tea and the occasional batch of lemon bars.

Lemon Bars

Oven to 175C/325F  Lightly grease and line a square cake tin with greaseproof paper.

6oz plain flour
4oz butter
2oz white sugar

7oz caster sugar
2 tbsp plain flour
1/2 tsp baking powder
1/4 tsp salt
2 eggs
juice and finely grated zest of 1 lemon

icing (powdered) sugar

Rub together the flour and butter (or dairy free marg) until it looks like breadcrumbs. Stir in the sugar and press the mixture into the bottom of the tin. Pop it in the oven for about 20 minutes.  While that's baking, mix together the sugar, flour, baking powder, salt, eggs and lemon until smooth. Pour this over the base and put it back in the oven for another 25 minutes until set but a little wobbly in the centre. Cool in the tin on a rack and then sprinkle with icing sugar.

Joel calls these 'sugar bites' and he'd be right. But soooo yummy when recovering with tea.

forklifts, fire engines and the hunt for toilet tissue.

If you know where your spare toilet tissue is, send up a little prayer of thanks. This morning I had 5 rolls of spare toilet tissue. Tonight, so far, I've found 3. This is because Joel likes to play forklift truck. Usually he is content to forklift cushions, random boxes, my clean laundry, all of his nappies including wipes and nappy sacks, blankets, shoes, etc... and deposit them in various locations all over the house. For small items, they are generally deposited in the funpod. (Funpods are worth the money. Like a learning tower but more solid)  Anyway - this morning - he found the spare toilet tissue. I was alternatively occupied (ie: feeding a baby) when he realised that he could fit 3 rolls of toilet tissue on 1 arm and carry them around "Like a forklift Mummy!"  He has since forklifted them to secret hidden locations around the house, and so far I'm still 2 down. But we'll give him grace, because it's his birthday.

It's hard to believe my little guy is 3 already. 1 more year and he'll be at school, in tiny grey trousers and a button down shirt and a little school bag and.....it doesn't bear thinking about.
Today was low key, the weekends are the party times. We've spread it out this year so that
a) he's not overwhelmed, bless him.  and,
b) so that he actually enjoys the presents he's been given.

So far, it's working really well. He has a scooter, which was pristine on Sunday afternoon and is now totally caked in mud from some serious off-road scooting. He's also had a lovely puzzle and some new books.  When I asked him a few weeks ago what sort of cake he'd like for his birthday, he replied " A digger, and a fire engine and a street sweeper cake!"  For the record, I am not the world's best cake decorator (see: The recipe that started the blog)   But I really wanted to make 2 out of 3 wishes come true.  So this past weekend I made the fire engine masterpiece:

Which actually was not as hard as originally anticipated. Time consuming? Yes. Hard? not so bad. This weekend, I attempt digger! I will be using the same cake recipe for that.

So for everyone whose son is asking for impossibly difficult birthday cakes, I give you my best 13x9 inch recipe for a chocolate cake that builds well.

Chocolate Fudge Cake

1 1/2 cups sugar

2/3 cup oil

2 eggs (one day I'm going to try replacing with 1/2 cup soy yogurt and see what happens)

2 tsp vanilla

2 2/3 cup plain flour

2/3 cup cocoa powder

2 tsp baking powder

2 tsp baking soda

1 tsp salt

2 cups boiling water (straight out of a fresh boiled kettle)

Preheat oven to 180C/350F. Grease and line the 13 x9 pan with baking paper, leaving overlap on the edges if you are going to build with this cake so that you can get it out easily.

Beat together the sugar, oil, eggs and vanilla.  Mix together all the dry ingredients.  Then alternate mixing in dry ingredients and water to the sugar/oil mixture. Blend well, it will seem quite a liquidy batter. Pour into your prepared pan and into the oven. Bake for about 45 minutes until it springs back when touched or a toothpick in the middle comes clean.

Cut and serve!  OR

If you want to make a fire engine, cut the cake into thirds. (I used Betty Crocker ready made frosting to 'glue' it together and then stuck ready to roll colour regal icing all over it.)   Stack 2 of the 3 sections on top of each other for the back of the truck. On the third section cut two pieces of equal size for the cab, leaving one small rectangular piece to be the 'connector' between the cab and the truck.  Decorate with regal icing and black decorator's icing and job done.



The face of cheeky

Today is now over. Both boys are sleeping(time check: it's 9:45pm!) and I have a cup of tea and have just mowed down 4 caramel cuts (the cake of the day and sweet treat because I'm worth it)  So today. Today I would describe as a hair's breath away from a total train wreck. And so, I now impart what I have learned, to you, my dear friends.

1) Supervise breakfast more closely.  It started at 8:40am with a request for a piece of chocolate cake from Joel. Along with his request for 2 boiled eggs and 'lots of toast mummy'. So I gave in to the cake request while I made the eggs, because where I come from, a chocolate donut is a breakfast food, not a dessert. Anyway, while I'm busily making eggs and toast I hear Joel talking to Luke saying 'It's yummy baby Luke' and I turn around to find him stuffing small pieces of cake into the baby's mouth. I leap across the room, finger sweep out all the cake, while Joel looks totally mystified as to why I would deny Baby Luke such lovely cake...

2) Be excruciatingly specific when giving instructions. For the record, "Go to the car and get in your seat" is not good enough. 1 pair of trousers later I learned that "Don't jump in the puddle, go to the car and get in your seat" was also not good enough. 2 pairs of trousers later I learned that "Take your truck to the car, don't jump in the puddle, just go to the car and get in your seat" -- also, not good enough. 3 pairs of trousers later "Pick up your dump truck, hold it in your hands, it does not need to go in the puddle, you are not wearing welly boots so you must not jump in the puddle, we need to go to the car, so come hold my hand and let's go get in your seat" resulted in only minor water damage to the cuffs of the trousers. good enough.

3) Glitter, when glued to a baby's head, does not come off with the first wash. It will take several.

4) Your child, when seeing another child eating chalk, will decide to take a bite and try it.  Then they look at you with a look of indignant betrayal, like "why did you let me do that??!"

5) Glue, glitter, cotton wool and feathers is never a good craft combination. Thank you playgroup.

6) If you watch Peppa Pig in Italian enough, you'll start to understand the plot.  Though, I was dying laughing watching Peppa Pig "Potato City". If you have not had the pleasure of seeing this, go look it up on youtube now. So worth it.

7) The phrase "Look Mummy, I doin' wee wee on the floor" is never good.

8) These little faces still make me smile.

Caramel Cuts

Like brownies, but toffee flavoured. Quick, easy and worth it.

Grease a 9inch square pan and preheat oven to 170C/325F.

1/4 cup margarine
1 cup light brown sugar (you can mix dark and light if you don't have enough light)
1 unbeaten egg
1/2 tsp vanilla
3/4 cup flour
1 tsp baking powder

Melt the margarine in a saucepan big enough to hold all the ingredients. Once melted add the brown sugar and blend together well. Take the pan off the heat and while the mixture is still warm add in the egg and vanilla and give it a good stir. Then add in the flour and baking powder and stir those in. Pour into the pan and bake for 20mins. They'll be lovely and golden and toffee and yummy and I doubt you'll even wait till they cool to get one out.

black midnights and bright mornings

I am a sucker for a warm piece of cake straight out of the oven. I have difficulty waiting for it to cool before slicing off a 'tester' piece. (It's very important to test before giving it to others. You may find you need to test quite a few pieces, this is essential for quality control.) Today I adapted Betty Crocker's classic 'Black Midnight Cake' -- If you hunt down one cookbook in your life, hunt down the old school 1969/1972 version of the Betty Crocker cookbook. It never lets you down, always has a brilliant recipe for whatever you want and has a fab vintage/retro feel, largely because it is. 

Anyway, I bake to relax, to unwind and to think, and this afternoon was no different. I was reflecting on a good morning at church and enjoying spending time with God in the main meeting. This is no mean feat when you have 2 small boys and a husband who is up the front doing music or announcements or preaching, just generally leading- often a Sunday morning can feel something of a mini marathon. Now, I'm not gonna lie, it is hard to stay expectant for God to move in your heart when you are simultaneously spooning spaghetti hoops into a toddlers mouth while getting a fire engine sticker out of his hair, and with the other hand doing 'magic fingers' for a baby and singing "We bow down" while actually on your knees doing all these things!  But this morning I found that if I just kept one part of my brain quietly in love with God while doing all these other things, it was like being lifted out of a black midnight into a bright morning. For in God's eyes, I'm not a beleaguered mummy, I'm a beloved child, and in the words of one of my favourite hymns:

"Ransomed, healed, restored, forgiven,

Who like me His praise should sing."

If you hunt down one truth in your life, hunt down this:

"The chief end of man is to glorify God and to enjoy him forever." (Westminster Catechism)

I am made not for myself, not for making cake, not for others, not for wiping children's noses, not for something nebulus, not for something unknown. I am made for this- to know God, to love Him, to live my life to glorify Him, to enjoy knowing him, to enjoy loving him. Knowing that truth, deep in my heart, makes many black midnights turn into bright mornings.



Black Midnight Cake (adapted)

2 1/4 cups plain flour

1 2/3 cups sugar (I make 1/3 of a cup dark brown sugar)

2/3 cup cocoa powder

1 1/4 tsp baking soda

1 tsp salt

1/4 tsp baking powder

3/4 cup dairy free marg (you can use butter or shortening)

2 eggs

1 tsp vanilla

1 1/4 cup water

Heat oven to 180C/ 350F. Grease a 13x9 pan. Pop all the ingredient in a big mixing bowl and beat together until smooth. Tip: add the water in stages so there's less of a splashy mess when you turn the beaters on.  Pour into the pan and into the oven for about 40 minutes or until a toothpick in the centre comes out clean. Cool in the pan, cut into squares and enjoy the fudgy yummyness.





the bungee jump of motherhood

Sometimes, I imagine that the leap into motherhood, is rather like bungee jumping off a bridge. You've heard about it, you probably know some people who've done it, you've read a little bit about it, watched some videos maybe, but nothing, absolutely nothing prepares you for the free fall 'O my life...what have I just done...can't go back....ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh' of actually doing it. The free fall may last seconds, minutes, days or months, but on the bounce back up you start thinking...
'I can do this, this is fantastic!'
There will be days that feel like just the free fall and days that feel like the bounce back, but you've jumped. And that means that you are brave, courageous and adventurous, you have a sense of humour, some serious faith in your own abilities, and you go for it.
I don't think its just one jump either. Everyday as a mother you jump again! You've no idea what the day will bring, what highs, what lows, what the bounce will be like, where the free fall will happen. You just jump.

I've had a really reflective day today, we had dinner with old friends last night (the boys were beautifully behaved, it was amazing, I could have crushed Joel with happy hugs he was so good at that restaurant) Anyway, at one point in the evening I was asked how I liked motherhood, because he'd heard a rumour that at first I regretted it. Not so much. I miss high heels, I miss showering everyday, I miss sleeping through the night, I miss finishing a cup of tea before its cold, I miss having the headspace to follow politics and remember what's going on because its been taken up with random knowledge about Bob the Builder and Peppa Pig, but I do not, not ever, regret it. 

If anything all day today I've been cuddling the little one close, watching him sleep, delighting in his little giggles because we've always said, 2 is our limit. And if 2 is our limit, then this is the last time I'll have a little baby to snuggle up in towels after a bath, to have stroke my face as he falls asleep, and smile up at me after he wakes up . I want to savour every bit of this, because these little boys are my little miracles, and even on the free fall days, I'm so glad I jumped.

I love watching them grow and develop, I love that Joel makes pretend games and uses all the cushions to create mountains and flat bed trucks (I'm still working that one out.) I love how he gets all muddy going through the 'deep cuddles' (he doesn't say puddles properly) I love that he eats certain letters of his alphabet shaped potato first, and that he has favourites (B, F and W) I love that he wants to hug Luke and when he does Luke giggles and giggles. I love it when Joel wants to have bathtime with baby Luke. I love it when he comes bursting into the kitchen saying "Its train time Mummy!" (Obviously.)  I love it that when he really wants something he goes all super polite: "Please read tractor book with Joel in Joel's bed Mummy" I love that he thanks Jesus for trucks, tractors and the sheep in the barn all snuggled up with blankets going sleep now. I love being a mummy. I love a house filled with laughter, and I love the quietness of after bedtime and the joy of some time to reflect, to pray, to read, to ready myself for another day of jumping...

"I will praise you, O Lord, with all my heart;..I will praise your name for your love and your faithfulness, for you have exalted above all things your name and your word. When I called, you answered me, you made me bold and stouthearted." Psalm 138:1-3

baby its cold inside...

Today is window day. Today all 3 windows at the front of the house were taken out and replaced with new ones! Ones that actually shut all the way! However. Today is also a wet, miserable, rainy, cold day. The baby is ensconced in furry blankets supervising the proceedings and I..I am sheltering in the relative peace of the kitchen making muffins and dinner and writing this. In a jumper. With another massive cup of really hot tea.

After my usual Thursday routine--going to Aldi and Sainsbury's in the rain -- I came home to utter chaos all over the house. We like to give ourselves a challege on our days without Joel, to see how messy we can make things, and then see how fast we can tidy them up before people come over for the church joining in course at our house in T minues 3hrs 20mins.

So I did what I do: stay out of the way, keep quiet, let the men get on with the job while making cups of tea and cakes. Days like today call for a quick muffin recipe and a dinner that you can throw in the slow cooker. Ideally make it a slow cooker dinner that reminds you of a chinese takeaway!

Courgette mini muffins

1 1/2 cups plain flour
1 cup sugar (I like to mix brown and white)
1/2 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp salt
1 tsp cinnamon
2 eggs
1/2 cup oil (you can substitute 1 mashed banana or 1/2 cup applesauce)

2 cups finely shredded courgette (zucchini) peel it first.

Grease a mini muffin tin (if you use papers, then you'll pull off most of the muffin with the paper.) Preheat the oven to 180C/350F.  Mix together all the dry ingredients. Make a well in the middle and add the eggs and the oil and mix together until just moistened. Then fold in the courgette. You can add chocolate chips or raisins or craisins to the mix if you want.
Spoon into the greased mini muffin cups and bake for about 20 minutes until golden brown and they spring back when touched.


                                                    Peking Pork for the slow cooker             

1 pack of diced pork shoulder about 450g/ 1 lb
1/4 cup brown sugar
1 tsp ground ginger
1/2 cup soy sauce
1/4 cup ketchup
1 large clove chopped garlic
splash of vinager (cider or sherry work well)

Cook on low 6-8 hours. I like to steam some broccoli and carrots and throw them in at the end. Serve over rice or noodles. Serves 3-4 people.
This also works well with stewing beef-cook it all day, or chicken- cook 4-6 hours. Also good with chinese veggies thrown in, some bamboo shoots/spring onion/bok choy---whatever you like best.

Lefties and Haybales

A variety of studies show that less than 10% of the world is left-handed (source: wikipedia font of all knowledge). However, I may have produced 2 left handed little boys. For the first time today I watched Luke grab for toys--and he did it--you guessed it--left handed. He also chooses mainly to chew his left arm, take out his soothie with his left arm and cuddle his blanket with his left hand. Strong early evidence.  Joel is unquestionably left-handed. He chooses to use that hand for all of his major activities: eating, digging, colouring with permanant markers while I stand hovering with wet wipes, and most importantly, making haybales.

Making haybales. For those of you who have never made toddler haybales a la Joel, allow me to explain. You will need a lot of freshly cut grass, so that you have loads of clippings left in piles to scoop up. You will also need a ride on car. Joel uses his Chuggington car for this, as it comes with a haybale maker. The haybale maker is cleverly disguised as the seat of the car, and lifts up to reveal a compartment for storing toys or treasures if you wish, however it is really for making haybales. In order to make a haybale, you lift up the 'seat' and stuff as much freshly cut grass or rotting leaves or old dry grass or freshly fallen leaves inside. It doesn't matter if it doesn't all fit, the bigger the haybale the better.  Once you have filled the 'haybale making compartment' then you squoosh it as hard as you can by pressing on the 'seat' i.e. haybale maker and jump up and down a few times. Then in order to check the durability of your haybale, run as fast as you can, pushing the car, preferably down a gravelly path so that there is a lot of bumps. Then after about 10-15metres, stop. Unload the haybale into the middle of the path and proceed to begin again with a new pile of grass.

I dedicate this haybale making lesson to Lucy Leach who patiently waited while this scene played out again and again and again and again around Boscawen park. :)  And for her and for all the little monkey toddlers making haybales I give you this cake:

Monkey Bread Cake 
(I personally like a less sticky monkey bread, so this is why I do it this way)

Do the dough in the bread machine on the dough cycle. If you don't have a bread machine, then do as for baking bread. Mix and let rise 1 hour, punch down, let rise another hour, then punch down and knead and proceed from there. 

1 cup milk/ soymilk
2 tbsp butter/ dairy free marg
1/4 cup sugar
1 tsp salt
1tsp cinnamon
3 cups plain flour
2 1/2 tsp yeast 

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3/4 cup melted butter

1 cup white sugar
2 tsp cinnamon

Once you have the dough, grease a tube or bundt pan really really well. Roll the dough into small pieces a little smaller than a golf ball - about the size of a large marble.

Dip the dough balls in the melted butter and roll them in the cinnamon/sugar mix. Layer them in the pan. and bake at 180C/350F for about 35 minutes until nicely risen and golden and crisp. Pull the edges away with a plastic knife if needed and turn the cake out of the pan after about 10-15 minutes. Best served warm, eaten with fingers pinching out the yummy dough balls.

*If you don't have a tube pan you can do them as muffins- grease the tray and pop 5-6 dough balls in each cup. They still bake for about a half an hour. Or make the pieces even smaller and do mini muffin monkey bread, yummy! *




When you've turned it all out if you think--hmm, this needs some caramel sauce-- then do this:
1/4 cup butter
2/3 cup brown sugar
2 tsp water

Bring it to the boil stirring constantly and cook for about 2 minutes until all the sugar is dissolved and it starts to thicken a bit. Drizzle over the cake or the muffins or serve as a dipping sauce if using immediately.

a day to celebrate new beginnings

Yesterday I was privileged to celebrate the upcoming wedding of my friend Sarah in the afternoon and then in the evening got the wonderful news that my friend Claire had given birth to a healthy baby boy. Fabulous. I love happy days of looking ahead- whether its a baby and the promise of a new little life or a wedding and the promise of a new together life.

There is that feeling of giddy anticipation, like when you set out on a really long trip and you think ...Have I got everything? ...Did I pack pants?..Do you have the directions? ...Where will we stop? ...When will we go? ...Will it be okay? ....I hope its good...I hope we don't end up in hospital...I hope its a laugh...Did you pack socks? ....

Only this time it's not just a trip there and back, its a trip into the unknown. A trip of faith. A first step on a strange and winding road. An adventure waiting to happen. A story yet to be told.

As you set out on new journeys my prayer for you is that you would embrace the new. Forget about the 'what could have happened?' and enjoy the happenings. Remember that it is never too late to learn or to try something new. When you hit a low, look up and remember the highs. That will help carry you through to the next one. Remember you are more than 'just a' whether its 'just a wife' or 'just a student' or 'just a mummy' or 'just another guy'--YOU are an amazing person created by God to do great and wonderful things. You will never be 'just a'.  And, whatever direction the road goes, know that somewhere, maybe way back at the beginning, maybe in the middle, or even if it's near the end...
I am praying for your journey, wherever you are. x

Its an easy choice for the cake that goes with this memory...
for Sarah -your quick reference!  for Claire - you cannot fail!

Microwave Chocolate Cake (adapted from BBC good food)

4 tbsp self-rising flour
4 tbsp brown sugar (or white if it's all you have)
2 tbsp cocoa powder
3 tbsp milk
3 tbsp vegetable or sunflower oil
1 egg

splash of vanilla or almond or orange extract (to make the cake a different flavour)
You can also add in chocolate sauce or a spoonful of nutella or a handful of chocolate chips if you want.

Stir it all together in a deep cereal bowl or a cappuchino (big) mug.
Microwave on high (800) for 2 minutes.

Serve warm with cream/ ice cream/ clotted cream - whichever is your preference.
It serves 2 self controlled people with ice cream or 1 very greedy woman by herself after the ironing is done and the children are asleep and she's standing in the kitchen poised with a spoon for as soon as the microwave beeps to pull it out and go omnomnomnomnom......

Vivaldi for toddlers

It is a wonderful, joyous, exuberant moment of pure bliss when your truck obsessed toddler boy asks to see violins after playing with his alphabet flashcards; and you realise with a shocked internal silence of gratefulness that you could watch youtube videos of the greats playing Vivaldi rather than monster trucks in mud.


Oh how I relished those 20 minutes. How I cheered inside everytime when Nigel Kennedy finished a piece and toddler clapped his hands and said 'yay! man with violin, yay!' and I let myself hope that maybe there is a spark of civilised cultured toddler inside the mud encrusted exterior that usually presents itself.

If I had enough eggs, I would be making civilised cultured cakes to celebrate. But alas, I only have enough for tonight's mini toad in the hole...but! if I had the eggs, I would make:

Orange Cranberry Banana Muffins

1 cup whole berry cranberry sauce
(you can make your own by boiling 2 cups of cranberries with 3/4 cup orange juice and 1 cup sugar until thickened, freeze the leftovers to make these again!)

1/3 cup butter (dairy free marg works well too)
2/3 cup white sugar
2 eggs

1 3/4cup flour
2 tsp baking powder
1/2tsp salt
1/4tsp baking soda
1 cup mashed banana (2 bananas should do it)

Mix together the butter, sugar and eggs. Then add in the dry ingredients alternately with the banana. Fold in the cranberries at the end.
Bake at 200C/400F for 15-20minutes or until a toothpick comes out clean. Makes 12 big muffins. Also good as mini muffins for little people. Also good with chocolate drizzled over the tops if you want to make them a bit decadent.

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Now for those of you thinking, what about the mini toad in the hole you mentioned? Another wonderful use for a muffin tray. And a really inexpensive way to do dinner.

Mini Toad in the Hole

6 sausages, cut in half (I like lincolnshire for these)

125g plain flour
2 eggs
125ml milk (we use Sainsbury's sweetened soymilk or Alpro original)
125ml water

oil for the muffin cups

Pre-heat your oven to 200C/400F and put a little oil in each muffin cup and half a sausage. Pop those in the oven for 15-20mins until they are getting a bit brown. Meanwhile, mix up your batter of flour, eggs, milk and water.  When the sausages start to brown, take the tray out and pour batter into each muffin cup over the sausages, they'll be about 3/4 full.  Pop it back in the oven for another 15-20 minutes until they are puffed and golden brown.

Use a knife (plastic/silicon if you've got a non stick muffin pan) to go round the edges and turn them out of the tin. Serve up with veg and gravy. Yummy.

A hungry 2-3 year old will eat 2-3. A hungry adult will eat 3-4. With enough veg and maybe some beans, you should be able to feed 2 adults and 2 kids.

These also freeze really well and heat up fast in the microwave. Good to stash in the freezer for nights when you're in a rush. :)

Thursday also known as Quick!!do everything you can while Joel's at nursery -day

3 loads of laundry to do. 2 cups of tea already had. 1 fairly decent poached egg on toast for breakfast (done in the microwave! genius!)

So how to approach such a day? With a loose plan, a very large cup of tea and a sit down.

Rest is really hard. Especially for a type A personality. It's really important though- make sure that somewhere in your day is time for something you absolutely adore doing, even just 15 minutes.
For me- that's nothing.

I adore doing nothing. So for 15 minutes while Joel's at nursery and Luke is watching "baby television" i.e. the washing machine....I can do nothing. and its everything I hope it can be. I know that life will resume, as it always does, at a fairly breakneck speed, but I also know that that's okay. For now, quick!!! do nothing!! ....while I can.

Now that I have enjoyed doing nothing, I can do the next enjoyable thing: baking
Today is a rainy gloomyish sort of day that requires a baked good that is a bit dunkable with a hint of spice to warm you up from the inside out. I like making these because they don't fail on me like flapjack does. You also can't really dunk flapjack.

Jammy Oatmeal Bites

1 1/2 cups porridge oats
1 3/4 cups plain flour
1/2 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp salt
1 cup brown sugar
1 tsp cinnamon (pumpkin pie spice also works really well)
1 cup butter (225g) -- melted. (I use dairy free margerine in these)
Jam of your choice (anything in the berry family works really well.)

Mix all the ingredients together in the order given, except for the jam. Mix the oatmeal mixture up really well and spread half of it on the bottom of a well greased 13x9 pan. spread liberally with the jam. Then crumble the remain oaty mix on the top of the jam. Bake at 175C/325F for about 30 minutes or until they look golden and yummy.

Makes about 20-24 squares. Tested, loved and approved by multiple uni students.

comfort food is the best food.

what's not to love about the following items:  sausage, pasta, butternut squash and apples.  Therefore you should be able to put them all together in one lovely scrummy yummy pot of delishiness.

Pasta with creamy sausage sauce

4 pork sausages casings removed or 250sausagemeat
2 tbsp oil (omit if using non-stick pan)
225g / 1 cup of cubed roasted butternut squash (I like to roast the squash and then freeze it in portions to defrost and use when needed.)
1 granny smith apple, peeled, and diced.
150 ml water
3/4 tsp dried sage
a little less than 1/4cup of flour
450 ml/ 2 cups milk (we use soy milk to make it dairy free)

250g cooked pasta small shells

Cook the pasta as you do and drain it.  While that's cooking, get out a large saucepan and put the oil and sausagemeat in it. Break up the sausage into chunks as you cook it, if you aren't using a non stick pan, then get ready for some scraping and an arm workout as the sausage cooks!

Add in the apple and the water and cook till apple is softish. Add in the butternut squash-- it will not stay in cubes it will fall apart and just look lovely. Add the sage. Add a bit of veggie stock cube if you want. Salt and pepper to taste. Cook until sausage is cooked through, then add the flour and stir it together. Then slowly add the milk 1 cup at a time, stirring all the while. Simmer on a low/med heat until thickened but not gloopy. add more milk if you want to. Stir in your cooked pasta and mix it all together. Serves 4 people if you serve a side salad and bread. Serves 2 fairly hungry adults and 1 toddler with 1 adult meal leftover if you just serve it as a main dish.

a moment over tea and cake

When faced with the reality that life has spiraled in a direction different to the one you'd planned for, not necessarily a bad direction, merely different, one must take stock.
When taking said stock I recommend strong tea and good cake. 

Life for me is puncuated by the high pitched laughter of little boys, worms, cups of tea- hot ones, baby baths, digging dirt, washing up, making dinner, where did I put my tea?, biscuits, laundry, food shopping, decorating, cups of tea - cold ones, and mostly, what cake goes with those memories.

It may not be just cake, maybe donuts, sweet breads, scones, brownies, french toast, pancakes or endless cookie variations. So this is just, my life in cake....

Sometimes sweet, fluffy wonderfulness and other times a slightly burned, congealed mess that you wouldn't dream of telling someone about much less serving up.
My favourite thing to make: chocolate crinkle brownie bites.
My baking nemesis: flapjack.

My way to stay sane: plan ahead, plan for things to go wrong, plan to make cake and plan time just to sit and eat cake.

Enjoy life in all its little moments...