Sometimes, I imagine that the leap into motherhood, is rather like bungee jumping off a bridge. You've heard about it, you probably know some people who've done it, you've read a little bit about it, watched some videos maybe, but nothing, absolutely nothing prepares you for the free fall 'O my life...what have I just done...can't go back....ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh' of actually doing it. The free fall may last seconds, minutes, days or months, but on the bounce back up you start thinking...
'I can do this, this is fantastic!'
There will be days that feel like just the free fall and days that feel like the bounce back, but you've jumped. And that means that you are brave, courageous and adventurous, you have a sense of humour, some serious faith in your own abilities, and you go for it.
I don't think its just one jump either. Everyday as a mother you jump again! You've no idea what the day will bring, what highs, what lows, what the bounce will be like, where the free fall will happen. You just jump.
I've had a really reflective day today, we had dinner with old friends last night (the boys were beautifully behaved, it was amazing, I could have crushed Joel with happy hugs he was so good at that restaurant) Anyway, at one point in the evening I was asked how I liked motherhood, because he'd heard a rumour that at first I regretted it. Not so much. I miss high heels, I miss showering everyday, I miss sleeping through the night, I miss finishing a cup of tea before its cold, I miss having the headspace to follow politics and remember what's going on because its been taken up with random knowledge about Bob the Builder and Peppa Pig, but I do not, not ever, regret it.
If anything all day today I've been cuddling the little one close, watching him sleep, delighting in his little giggles because we've always said, 2 is our limit. And if 2 is our limit, then this is the last time I'll have a little baby to snuggle up in towels after a bath, to have stroke my face as he falls asleep, and smile up at me after he wakes up . I want to savour every bit of this, because these little boys are my little miracles, and even on the free fall days, I'm so glad I jumped.
I love watching them grow and develop, I love that Joel makes pretend games and uses all the cushions to create mountains and flat bed trucks (I'm still working that one out.) I love how he gets all muddy going through the 'deep cuddles' (he doesn't say puddles properly) I love that he eats certain letters of his alphabet shaped potato first, and that he has favourites (B, F and W) I love that he wants to hug Luke and when he does Luke giggles and giggles. I love it when Joel wants to have bathtime with baby Luke. I love it when he comes bursting into the kitchen saying "Its train time Mummy!" (Obviously.) I love it that when he really wants something he goes all super polite: "Please read tractor book with Joel in Joel's bed Mummy" I love that he thanks Jesus for trucks, tractors and the sheep in the barn all snuggled up with blankets going sleep now. I love being a mummy. I love a house filled with laughter, and I love the quietness of after bedtime and the joy of some time to reflect, to pray, to read, to ready myself for another day of jumping...
"I will praise you, O Lord, with all my heart;..I will praise your name for your love and your faithfulness, for you have exalted above all things your name and your word. When I called, you answered me, you made me bold and stouthearted." Psalm 138:1-3
'I can do this, this is fantastic!'
There will be days that feel like just the free fall and days that feel like the bounce back, but you've jumped. And that means that you are brave, courageous and adventurous, you have a sense of humour, some serious faith in your own abilities, and you go for it.
I don't think its just one jump either. Everyday as a mother you jump again! You've no idea what the day will bring, what highs, what lows, what the bounce will be like, where the free fall will happen. You just jump.
I've had a really reflective day today, we had dinner with old friends last night (the boys were beautifully behaved, it was amazing, I could have crushed Joel with happy hugs he was so good at that restaurant) Anyway, at one point in the evening I was asked how I liked motherhood, because he'd heard a rumour that at first I regretted it. Not so much. I miss high heels, I miss showering everyday, I miss sleeping through the night, I miss finishing a cup of tea before its cold, I miss having the headspace to follow politics and remember what's going on because its been taken up with random knowledge about Bob the Builder and Peppa Pig, but I do not, not ever, regret it.
If anything all day today I've been cuddling the little one close, watching him sleep, delighting in his little giggles because we've always said, 2 is our limit. And if 2 is our limit, then this is the last time I'll have a little baby to snuggle up in towels after a bath, to have stroke my face as he falls asleep, and smile up at me after he wakes up . I want to savour every bit of this, because these little boys are my little miracles, and even on the free fall days, I'm so glad I jumped.
I love watching them grow and develop, I love that Joel makes pretend games and uses all the cushions to create mountains and flat bed trucks (I'm still working that one out.) I love how he gets all muddy going through the 'deep cuddles' (he doesn't say puddles properly) I love that he eats certain letters of his alphabet shaped potato first, and that he has favourites (B, F and W) I love that he wants to hug Luke and when he does Luke giggles and giggles. I love it when Joel wants to have bathtime with baby Luke. I love it when he comes bursting into the kitchen saying "Its train time Mummy!" (Obviously.) I love it that when he really wants something he goes all super polite: "Please read tractor book with Joel in Joel's bed Mummy" I love that he thanks Jesus for trucks, tractors and the sheep in the barn all snuggled up with blankets going sleep now. I love being a mummy. I love a house filled with laughter, and I love the quietness of after bedtime and the joy of some time to reflect, to pray, to read, to ready myself for another day of jumping...
"I will praise you, O Lord, with all my heart;..I will praise your name for your love and your faithfulness, for you have exalted above all things your name and your word. When I called, you answered me, you made me bold and stouthearted." Psalm 138:1-3
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