type A at home

I love whiteboards. I love laminated worksheets. I love organising. I love finding homes for things. I love clean and tidy. I love fresh smelling. I love quiet.

I did a reasonable job attempting to be a more chilled out version of myself now that I am a stay at home mummy, however, that actually made me way way way less chilled out. Ironic. Sometimes you need to embrace your inner control freak organising dry erase cleaning self, and let it be okay. Because it's who you are, no matter how hard you may try to not be this way. I have photos of myself aged 5 years old in my bedroom, and I know, from looking at my little serious face that the reason I had the photos taken was because I was particularly proud of how tidy my room was at that point. At college, I was the girl with the desk sized Filofax. It was my whole life in there. I've sinced moved on to the monthly moleskine (it's good and less bulky) Some people may recall my colour-coded dry erase monthly wall planner in room 503 in Florence. I updated it every 2 weeks. I scent (and occasionally colour) match my cleaning products (really I do). I have trialled various different 'clean scent' candles chasing that perfect scent of fresh laundry/cut grass/dewy morning/sunshine feel. I plan my meals monthly- I don't stick to the days, but I know what we'll eat this month. Most of my pinterest time is spent on looking for more creative organising solutions or quiet activities for my children. Achieving at least some quiet with two small boys is a major accomplishment and one in which I pursue mightily.

Last week I couldn't take trying to be chilled out and go with the flow girl anymore. Back into action sprang Laura -Type A. A few hours later I had drawn up a schedule - daily, weekly, bigger tasks and monthly goals. I created a daily routine sheet, detailing hours from 8am -10pm, with a goal for the day at the top. I took them to Staples and had them matt laminated, so I could write on them with pencil. Because that's the smarter option if there is any risk they might ever get wet. Achieving a day where my counter top is not completely soaked because of a car wash/hand wash/washing up/waterfall incident is rare. I put my fresh laminated sheets in a cute bird ring binder, bought a new eraser, sharpened my pencil and got down to business. (I was pretty excited, I have to be honest) 

 

I'm reaching the end of my first week with my new planning system in place. It's kept me focused and on task on the days Joel is in pre-school, so that my house is clean, jobs are getting done and I can have downtime with the boys resting in the knowledge that I have that time and I don't actually need to be getting on with anything other than building duplo, or making rubbish for the rubbish truck, or reading books, being a tickle monster, giving cuddles, playing alphabet games, singing songs and generally just being fully present with them.  Because, as they grow up, I know they won't really care whether the house was clean and tidy, or if I was on top of the washing or the ironing. As long as I feed them, the won't care that I plan meals monthly. But I know they will care, and they will remember a mother who was fully present with them. And they will care and will remember if I was being the best myself I could be, rather than a stressed version of what I thought I should be. And they'll remember I had the time to make silly faces in the camera phone with them.

 

And that is what is most important in any schedule.

 

p.s. The perfect clean scent is 'After the Rain' from Arran Aromatics in Scotland.

Pricey but so worth it. Breathe deep, breathe clean, breathe calm. Repeat.

 

p.p.s. I had sticky toffee pudding and custard today. I didn't make it, and that made it even better. Sometimes tesco's finest is better than mummy's.

 



 

yummy mummies and chillaxin

I am not a yummy mummy. I am a fake imposter wanna be yummy mummy. Yummy mummies do yoga, they do not justify curly fries on the basis that cayenne pepper is a metabolism stimulant, nor do they surmise that because the cake has pumpkin in it, then surely it counts as 1 of your 5 a day. Yummy mummies look out for their children. They do not laugh inwardly when their child face plants into a shop window out of excitement and sheer desperation for the ride on bulldozer behind the glass. Yummy mummies look chic and stylish. They wear long cardigans and are cool. They do not accidentally (and repeatedly) dip the hem of their long cardigans in potties full of wee. Nor indeed in potties of wee and bonus poo. That's just not cool. Yummy mummies are not seen at A&E with blood/tea/snot stained clothes. Yummy mummies don't get follow up calls 'just checking on your son's head injury'. Yummy mummies are way more protective of their children (and thus, less fun.) Yummy mummies have nice makeup. Someone tells them when they look like a linebacker because their mascara has smeared under their eye. They don't let them walk around like that. Yummy mummies stick together, they have appearances to protect. Other mummies just commiserate and think 'I know how she feels' but they generally, say nothing.
I am not a yummy mummy.

Yummy mummies do not 'chillax'. Yummy mummies stimulate their children with educational activities on afternoons at home when they are not taking a nap, but need to do quiet activities. They do not play Fireman Sam DVD's on a loop and leave their child unsupervised with a tin of marbles and a bowl of grapes. Just so you know, a three year old will get confused.

It is important however to instill in your child a sense of the word 'chillaxin' from an early age.

Mind you, it is also important for there to be some educational toy time as well...

and when they ask for just '5 more minutes' sometimes its okay to give in.

Because you'll need those 5 minutes to find their trousers anyway.

Yummy mummies always have children who are fully clothed. and matching.

 

 

I am definitely not a yummy mummy, but I am fun mummy, and I do eat carbs (quite regularly), and I have adventurous children, and I now wear more fitted cardigans until potty training is over, and I'm okay with that. Yummy mummies are overrated, and they don't eat cake, and they don't drink full fat lattes. And life is way to short to be doing with that. :)

 

The cake recipe is for Michael and Harry and the Pumpkin Spice Creamer is for the lovely Claire Newdick, who will need serious coffee for all the work this week!

 

 

Dairy Free/Egg Free Chocolate Cake

 

2 1/4 cups plain flour (you can use self raising, just omit the salt and baking powder)

1/2 cup cocoa powder

1 1/2 cups sugar

1 tsp baking powder

1/2 tsp salt

1 cup warm coffee (decaf is a good choice where children are involved)

1/2 cup + 1 tbsp veg oil

2 tsp of vanilla extract

 

 

Preheat oven to 350F/ 175C  grease a bundt tin if you've got it, or a large round cake tin. These also work well as cupcakes.

 

Put all the ingredients in a big bowl and give it a great big stir until they are all combined together. Pour into the tin and bake for about 35 mins until a toothpick comes clean. Though, you can also bake it 10 mins less and have a really squidgy fudgy bit, since there are no eggs. Lovely either way. Leave plain or top with icing sugar, or a glaze or more chocolate sauce.

 

Pumpkin Spice Creamer (because the UK Starbucks don't do autumnal lattes)

 

1 tin of sweetened condensed milk

1 tinful of normal milk

(full fat if you're me, semi-skim if you're other people, skim if you feel guilty)

3 heaping tablespoons of pumpkin puree 

 (I used butternut squash puree, worked just as well)

3 tablespoons of maple syrup

1 tsp of pumpkin pie spice  (The blend below gives you nearer 2 teaspoons, so save some for your next batch, or halve it and just do a large pinch of ground cloves)

• 1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
• 1/4 teaspoon ground nutmeg
• 1/4 teaspoon ground ginger
• 1/8 teaspoon ground cloves

Put all of that together in a large jug and blend together with a hand blender or serious whisking. Makes loads, but you'll drink it, because its addictive. Nice in coffee or hot chocolate. Keep it in the fridge and shake it well to re-blend it before you use it.

Hello yummy autumn......

the bungee jump of motherhood

Sometimes, I imagine that the leap into motherhood, is rather like bungee jumping off a bridge. You've heard about it, you probably know some people who've done it, you've read a little bit about it, watched some videos maybe, but nothing, absolutely nothing prepares you for the free fall 'O my life...what have I just done...can't go back....ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh' of actually doing it. The free fall may last seconds, minutes, days or months, but on the bounce back up you start thinking...
'I can do this, this is fantastic!'
There will be days that feel like just the free fall and days that feel like the bounce back, but you've jumped. And that means that you are brave, courageous and adventurous, you have a sense of humour, some serious faith in your own abilities, and you go for it.
I don't think its just one jump either. Everyday as a mother you jump again! You've no idea what the day will bring, what highs, what lows, what the bounce will be like, where the free fall will happen. You just jump.

I've had a really reflective day today, we had dinner with old friends last night (the boys were beautifully behaved, it was amazing, I could have crushed Joel with happy hugs he was so good at that restaurant) Anyway, at one point in the evening I was asked how I liked motherhood, because he'd heard a rumour that at first I regretted it. Not so much. I miss high heels, I miss showering everyday, I miss sleeping through the night, I miss finishing a cup of tea before its cold, I miss having the headspace to follow politics and remember what's going on because its been taken up with random knowledge about Bob the Builder and Peppa Pig, but I do not, not ever, regret it. 

If anything all day today I've been cuddling the little one close, watching him sleep, delighting in his little giggles because we've always said, 2 is our limit. And if 2 is our limit, then this is the last time I'll have a little baby to snuggle up in towels after a bath, to have stroke my face as he falls asleep, and smile up at me after he wakes up . I want to savour every bit of this, because these little boys are my little miracles, and even on the free fall days, I'm so glad I jumped.

I love watching them grow and develop, I love that Joel makes pretend games and uses all the cushions to create mountains and flat bed trucks (I'm still working that one out.) I love how he gets all muddy going through the 'deep cuddles' (he doesn't say puddles properly) I love that he eats certain letters of his alphabet shaped potato first, and that he has favourites (B, F and W) I love that he wants to hug Luke and when he does Luke giggles and giggles. I love it when Joel wants to have bathtime with baby Luke. I love it when he comes bursting into the kitchen saying "Its train time Mummy!" (Obviously.)  I love it that when he really wants something he goes all super polite: "Please read tractor book with Joel in Joel's bed Mummy" I love that he thanks Jesus for trucks, tractors and the sheep in the barn all snuggled up with blankets going sleep now. I love being a mummy. I love a house filled with laughter, and I love the quietness of after bedtime and the joy of some time to reflect, to pray, to read, to ready myself for another day of jumping...

"I will praise you, O Lord, with all my heart;..I will praise your name for your love and your faithfulness, for you have exalted above all things your name and your word. When I called, you answered me, you made me bold and stouthearted." Psalm 138:1-3