yummy mummies and chillaxin

I am not a yummy mummy. I am a fake imposter wanna be yummy mummy. Yummy mummies do yoga, they do not justify curly fries on the basis that cayenne pepper is a metabolism stimulant, nor do they surmise that because the cake has pumpkin in it, then surely it counts as 1 of your 5 a day. Yummy mummies look out for their children. They do not laugh inwardly when their child face plants into a shop window out of excitement and sheer desperation for the ride on bulldozer behind the glass. Yummy mummies look chic and stylish. They wear long cardigans and are cool. They do not accidentally (and repeatedly) dip the hem of their long cardigans in potties full of wee. Nor indeed in potties of wee and bonus poo. That's just not cool. Yummy mummies are not seen at A&E with blood/tea/snot stained clothes. Yummy mummies don't get follow up calls 'just checking on your son's head injury'. Yummy mummies are way more protective of their children (and thus, less fun.) Yummy mummies have nice makeup. Someone tells them when they look like a linebacker because their mascara has smeared under their eye. They don't let them walk around like that. Yummy mummies stick together, they have appearances to protect. Other mummies just commiserate and think 'I know how she feels' but they generally, say nothing.
I am not a yummy mummy.

Yummy mummies do not 'chillax'. Yummy mummies stimulate their children with educational activities on afternoons at home when they are not taking a nap, but need to do quiet activities. They do not play Fireman Sam DVD's on a loop and leave their child unsupervised with a tin of marbles and a bowl of grapes. Just so you know, a three year old will get confused.

It is important however to instill in your child a sense of the word 'chillaxin' from an early age.

Mind you, it is also important for there to be some educational toy time as well...

and when they ask for just '5 more minutes' sometimes its okay to give in.

Because you'll need those 5 minutes to find their trousers anyway.

Yummy mummies always have children who are fully clothed. and matching.

 

 

I am definitely not a yummy mummy, but I am fun mummy, and I do eat carbs (quite regularly), and I have adventurous children, and I now wear more fitted cardigans until potty training is over, and I'm okay with that. Yummy mummies are overrated, and they don't eat cake, and they don't drink full fat lattes. And life is way to short to be doing with that. :)

 

The cake recipe is for Michael and Harry and the Pumpkin Spice Creamer is for the lovely Claire Newdick, who will need serious coffee for all the work this week!

 

 

Dairy Free/Egg Free Chocolate Cake

 

2 1/4 cups plain flour (you can use self raising, just omit the salt and baking powder)

1/2 cup cocoa powder

1 1/2 cups sugar

1 tsp baking powder

1/2 tsp salt

1 cup warm coffee (decaf is a good choice where children are involved)

1/2 cup + 1 tbsp veg oil

2 tsp of vanilla extract

 

 

Preheat oven to 350F/ 175C  grease a bundt tin if you've got it, or a large round cake tin. These also work well as cupcakes.

 

Put all the ingredients in a big bowl and give it a great big stir until they are all combined together. Pour into the tin and bake for about 35 mins until a toothpick comes clean. Though, you can also bake it 10 mins less and have a really squidgy fudgy bit, since there are no eggs. Lovely either way. Leave plain or top with icing sugar, or a glaze or more chocolate sauce.

 

Pumpkin Spice Creamer (because the UK Starbucks don't do autumnal lattes)

 

1 tin of sweetened condensed milk

1 tinful of normal milk

(full fat if you're me, semi-skim if you're other people, skim if you feel guilty)

3 heaping tablespoons of pumpkin puree 

 (I used butternut squash puree, worked just as well)

3 tablespoons of maple syrup

1 tsp of pumpkin pie spice  (The blend below gives you nearer 2 teaspoons, so save some for your next batch, or halve it and just do a large pinch of ground cloves)

• 1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
• 1/4 teaspoon ground nutmeg
• 1/4 teaspoon ground ginger
• 1/8 teaspoon ground cloves

Put all of that together in a large jug and blend together with a hand blender or serious whisking. Makes loads, but you'll drink it, because its addictive. Nice in coffee or hot chocolate. Keep it in the fridge and shake it well to re-blend it before you use it.

Hello yummy autumn......

Thursday also known as Quick!!do everything you can while Joel's at nursery -day

3 loads of laundry to do. 2 cups of tea already had. 1 fairly decent poached egg on toast for breakfast (done in the microwave! genius!)

So how to approach such a day? With a loose plan, a very large cup of tea and a sit down.

Rest is really hard. Especially for a type A personality. It's really important though- make sure that somewhere in your day is time for something you absolutely adore doing, even just 15 minutes.
For me- that's nothing.

I adore doing nothing. So for 15 minutes while Joel's at nursery and Luke is watching "baby television" i.e. the washing machine....I can do nothing. and its everything I hope it can be. I know that life will resume, as it always does, at a fairly breakneck speed, but I also know that that's okay. For now, quick!!! do nothing!! ....while I can.

Now that I have enjoyed doing nothing, I can do the next enjoyable thing: baking
Today is a rainy gloomyish sort of day that requires a baked good that is a bit dunkable with a hint of spice to warm you up from the inside out. I like making these because they don't fail on me like flapjack does. You also can't really dunk flapjack.

Jammy Oatmeal Bites

1 1/2 cups porridge oats
1 3/4 cups plain flour
1/2 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp salt
1 cup brown sugar
1 tsp cinnamon (pumpkin pie spice also works really well)
1 cup butter (225g) -- melted. (I use dairy free margerine in these)
Jam of your choice (anything in the berry family works really well.)

Mix all the ingredients together in the order given, except for the jam. Mix the oatmeal mixture up really well and spread half of it on the bottom of a well greased 13x9 pan. spread liberally with the jam. Then crumble the remain oaty mix on the top of the jam. Bake at 175C/325F for about 30 minutes or until they look golden and yummy.

Makes about 20-24 squares. Tested, loved and approved by multiple uni students.