goo, twang and the sounds of silence

let us be clear about one thing. a baby with a goo coming out of their ear is never a good time.

Over the past few weeks, we have used over 500 tissues, 3 bottles of calpol, 1 bottle of calcough, we've bleached the bathtub for various bodily fluid related reasons 4 times, there have been 2 gp visits and 1 out of hours clinic. Joel now has 2 inhalers, the baby has an inhaler, there have been tantrums, tears and the evil that is technic lego in the hands of 3 year old (it has since been rehomed in the loft) It's been a bit full on in the poorly department. And now to round it off, Mummy is silent. Silently eating cake. I've had no voice since Wednesday and it doesn't seem like it wants to come on back any time soon.  Joel asks me regularly if I'm sad, because I'm not talking. I try to reassure him using mime and a tiny whisper. The baby on the other hand has started to say 'ma ma ma ma ma' while combat crawling around after me. He holds on to my face and just looks kind of confused that I won't talk back to him. He's reassured by snuggles and food.

While my voice was planning its escape route, I was reading the book 'The Help' - if you've not read it, it is brilliant and I'd highly recommend. Though be warned, if there is any sort of twang lurking inside you-- it will leap at the chance to be reawakened and used. You will find yourself breaking out your 'all y'all' and 'quit it, momma is tired of you fussin' and so it was with me, I found the lazy vowels of twang easier to operate in during the voice is tiptoeing away stage. Now it's just gone and with it the moment of twanginess. I imagine when it returns it will do so as full English.

Few things will keep you sane while dealing with poorly children, my top 3:
1) copious amounts of tea
2) masterchef the professionals (they make it look SO easy!)
3) snickerdoodle cake

Now I have wanted a brilliant snickerdoodle cake recipe for a long time. I love snickerdoodles, they are little bites of happy. However to make them is a long time of super fiddly. So something that delivers the taste, without the faff, show me where I sign up! With a little adaptation, I've made this one dairy free :)

Snickerdoodle Cake

1 cup butter (or dairy free spread)
1 1/2 cup sugar
3 eggs
1/4 sour cream (I substituted Soy yoghurt)
2 cups plain flour
1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp baking powder
1 tsp cream of tartar
1/2 tsp salt 

1/3 cup sugar
1 tbsp cinnamon

Preheat oven to 350F/180C.  Cream together the butter and the sugar. Add in the eggs 1 at a time and scrape down sides after adding each. Add in the yoghurt/sour cream and mix well. Then add in the dry ingredients and mix well.

Mix your sugar and cinnamon together and sprinkle half the mix on the bottom of a 13x9 pan. Top with the batter and then sprinkle the other half of your sugar/cinnamon mix on top. Bake for 25-30mins. You want it a little squidgy in the middle, a bit like brownies. If a tester 2 inches from the side is clean, you are good to go.  Awesome awesome awesome. They lasted less than 48 hours in this house.



 

 

yummy mummies and chillaxin

I am not a yummy mummy. I am a fake imposter wanna be yummy mummy. Yummy mummies do yoga, they do not justify curly fries on the basis that cayenne pepper is a metabolism stimulant, nor do they surmise that because the cake has pumpkin in it, then surely it counts as 1 of your 5 a day. Yummy mummies look out for their children. They do not laugh inwardly when their child face plants into a shop window out of excitement and sheer desperation for the ride on bulldozer behind the glass. Yummy mummies look chic and stylish. They wear long cardigans and are cool. They do not accidentally (and repeatedly) dip the hem of their long cardigans in potties full of wee. Nor indeed in potties of wee and bonus poo. That's just not cool. Yummy mummies are not seen at A&E with blood/tea/snot stained clothes. Yummy mummies don't get follow up calls 'just checking on your son's head injury'. Yummy mummies are way more protective of their children (and thus, less fun.) Yummy mummies have nice makeup. Someone tells them when they look like a linebacker because their mascara has smeared under their eye. They don't let them walk around like that. Yummy mummies stick together, they have appearances to protect. Other mummies just commiserate and think 'I know how she feels' but they generally, say nothing.
I am not a yummy mummy.

Yummy mummies do not 'chillax'. Yummy mummies stimulate their children with educational activities on afternoons at home when they are not taking a nap, but need to do quiet activities. They do not play Fireman Sam DVD's on a loop and leave their child unsupervised with a tin of marbles and a bowl of grapes. Just so you know, a three year old will get confused.

It is important however to instill in your child a sense of the word 'chillaxin' from an early age.

Mind you, it is also important for there to be some educational toy time as well...

and when they ask for just '5 more minutes' sometimes its okay to give in.

Because you'll need those 5 minutes to find their trousers anyway.

Yummy mummies always have children who are fully clothed. and matching.

 

 

I am definitely not a yummy mummy, but I am fun mummy, and I do eat carbs (quite regularly), and I have adventurous children, and I now wear more fitted cardigans until potty training is over, and I'm okay with that. Yummy mummies are overrated, and they don't eat cake, and they don't drink full fat lattes. And life is way to short to be doing with that. :)

 

The cake recipe is for Michael and Harry and the Pumpkin Spice Creamer is for the lovely Claire Newdick, who will need serious coffee for all the work this week!

 

 

Dairy Free/Egg Free Chocolate Cake

 

2 1/4 cups plain flour (you can use self raising, just omit the salt and baking powder)

1/2 cup cocoa powder

1 1/2 cups sugar

1 tsp baking powder

1/2 tsp salt

1 cup warm coffee (decaf is a good choice where children are involved)

1/2 cup + 1 tbsp veg oil

2 tsp of vanilla extract

 

 

Preheat oven to 350F/ 175C  grease a bundt tin if you've got it, or a large round cake tin. These also work well as cupcakes.

 

Put all the ingredients in a big bowl and give it a great big stir until they are all combined together. Pour into the tin and bake for about 35 mins until a toothpick comes clean. Though, you can also bake it 10 mins less and have a really squidgy fudgy bit, since there are no eggs. Lovely either way. Leave plain or top with icing sugar, or a glaze or more chocolate sauce.

 

Pumpkin Spice Creamer (because the UK Starbucks don't do autumnal lattes)

 

1 tin of sweetened condensed milk

1 tinful of normal milk

(full fat if you're me, semi-skim if you're other people, skim if you feel guilty)

3 heaping tablespoons of pumpkin puree 

 (I used butternut squash puree, worked just as well)

3 tablespoons of maple syrup

1 tsp of pumpkin pie spice  (The blend below gives you nearer 2 teaspoons, so save some for your next batch, or halve it and just do a large pinch of ground cloves)

• 1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
• 1/4 teaspoon ground nutmeg
• 1/4 teaspoon ground ginger
• 1/8 teaspoon ground cloves

Put all of that together in a large jug and blend together with a hand blender or serious whisking. Makes loads, but you'll drink it, because its addictive. Nice in coffee or hot chocolate. Keep it in the fridge and shake it well to re-blend it before you use it.

Hello yummy autumn......

slugs, stolen goods, and the art of the Spanish language.

I am now happily eating lemon blueberry cake and drinking a much much much needed cup of tea.

Today was a very busy Friday. Joel and I have been patiently waiting for our strawberry crop to fruit and ripen for us to pick and try one. We were waiting for today because our first big red strawberry was going to be ready. Daddy was out in the garden, we asked him to check on our fruit and lo and behold,  a slug had gotten there first. Right in the middle of our lovely juicy ripe strawberry a baby slug had happily munched away on half of it. I was annoyed, Joel's face was the picture of disappointment. We deemed it a naughty slug. I looked up what to do to keep slugs away--consensus seems to be eggshells or beer. Joel liked the word beer. Eggshells were what we had to hand. We then crushed all the eggshells from today (5 in total) and spread them around to defend our strawberries. Later I checked the shells were doing the job, only to find the most enormous Jabba the hut slug I have ever seen under one of my strawberry plants. So I did what you do. I flicked it 15 feet into the hedge with my trowel. Nothing messes with my berries.

We also did some much overdue DIY this week. Finishing off the trim in the conservatory (it's taken us since Sept 2010 to finish this job.) And hanging some shelves. We need to pick up some bits to tile a splashback in the downstairs loo and so we took a family field trip to Wickes. Whenever I walk in Wickes with the children, immediately, the annoucement about how parents must look after their children is played. I wonder if they have a button they push....  Anyway, we looked at tiles, decided we needed to do more research, went back to the car only to realise that Joel had tucked, under Luke's carseat, on the trolley, some particularly lovely stone border tiles. Daddy and Joel returned the stolen goods.

While making dinner- we created the kitchen mess. While it was fun--  mixing crushed cornflakes, chicken breasts, DF ranch dressing and toddlers gets messy. Then they wash their hands and dip the tea towel in the washing up bowl, lifting it up to say "It's dripping now mummy" Really? Shock.  Then we made cake. Joel's learned that he likes batter. So now instead of waiting to lick the beater or the bowl, he just tries to dig in. Managed to stop his hand, only to turn around to get blueberries out of the fridge, to find him then dipping the beater back into the batter and trying to load it into his mouth. Boy likes cake. Even not yet cooked.

On the plus side, we learned some Spanish while making all of this mess. Joel is pretty good at 'Hola' and 'Buenos Dias'. Quite liked 'bombero' as well.

Lemon Blueberry Cake

1/2 cup butter (dairy free spread)

1 1/2 cups sugar

2 eggs

zest and juice of 1 lemon

3 cups flour

1 tsp cream of tartar

1/2 tsp baking soda

1 cup milk  (can use soy or almond or oat and still turns out well)

1 pint blueberries (2 x 125g packs. They are 69p at Aldi this week. go go go)

Grease a 13x9 pan, or a tube/bundt pan. Preheat oven to 190C/375F.  Cream together the butter, sugar and eggs. Add the lemon juice and zest.  Then add the dry ingredients alternately with the milk. Dust the blueberries with flour and fold it. Pour it into the prepared pan and bake for 40-50 mins, until a tester in the center comes clean. I like to drizzle a glaze of icing sugar and lemon juice on top. Your call. Just as nice without.



forklifts, fire engines and the hunt for toilet tissue.

If you know where your spare toilet tissue is, send up a little prayer of thanks. This morning I had 5 rolls of spare toilet tissue. Tonight, so far, I've found 3. This is because Joel likes to play forklift truck. Usually he is content to forklift cushions, random boxes, my clean laundry, all of his nappies including wipes and nappy sacks, blankets, shoes, etc... and deposit them in various locations all over the house. For small items, they are generally deposited in the funpod. (Funpods are worth the money. Like a learning tower but more solid)  Anyway - this morning - he found the spare toilet tissue. I was alternatively occupied (ie: feeding a baby) when he realised that he could fit 3 rolls of toilet tissue on 1 arm and carry them around "Like a forklift Mummy!"  He has since forklifted them to secret hidden locations around the house, and so far I'm still 2 down. But we'll give him grace, because it's his birthday.

It's hard to believe my little guy is 3 already. 1 more year and he'll be at school, in tiny grey trousers and a button down shirt and a little school bag and.....it doesn't bear thinking about.
Today was low key, the weekends are the party times. We've spread it out this year so that
a) he's not overwhelmed, bless him.  and,
b) so that he actually enjoys the presents he's been given.

So far, it's working really well. He has a scooter, which was pristine on Sunday afternoon and is now totally caked in mud from some serious off-road scooting. He's also had a lovely puzzle and some new books.  When I asked him a few weeks ago what sort of cake he'd like for his birthday, he replied " A digger, and a fire engine and a street sweeper cake!"  For the record, I am not the world's best cake decorator (see: The recipe that started the blog)   But I really wanted to make 2 out of 3 wishes come true.  So this past weekend I made the fire engine masterpiece:

Which actually was not as hard as originally anticipated. Time consuming? Yes. Hard? not so bad. This weekend, I attempt digger! I will be using the same cake recipe for that.

So for everyone whose son is asking for impossibly difficult birthday cakes, I give you my best 13x9 inch recipe for a chocolate cake that builds well.

Chocolate Fudge Cake

1 1/2 cups sugar

2/3 cup oil

2 eggs (one day I'm going to try replacing with 1/2 cup soy yogurt and see what happens)

2 tsp vanilla

2 2/3 cup plain flour

2/3 cup cocoa powder

2 tsp baking powder

2 tsp baking soda

1 tsp salt

2 cups boiling water (straight out of a fresh boiled kettle)

Preheat oven to 180C/350F. Grease and line the 13 x9 pan with baking paper, leaving overlap on the edges if you are going to build with this cake so that you can get it out easily.

Beat together the sugar, oil, eggs and vanilla.  Mix together all the dry ingredients.  Then alternate mixing in dry ingredients and water to the sugar/oil mixture. Blend well, it will seem quite a liquidy batter. Pour into your prepared pan and into the oven. Bake for about 45 minutes until it springs back when touched or a toothpick in the middle comes clean.

Cut and serve!  OR

If you want to make a fire engine, cut the cake into thirds. (I used Betty Crocker ready made frosting to 'glue' it together and then stuck ready to roll colour regal icing all over it.)   Stack 2 of the 3 sections on top of each other for the back of the truck. On the third section cut two pieces of equal size for the cab, leaving one small rectangular piece to be the 'connector' between the cab and the truck.  Decorate with regal icing and black decorator's icing and job done.



black midnights and bright mornings

I am a sucker for a warm piece of cake straight out of the oven. I have difficulty waiting for it to cool before slicing off a 'tester' piece. (It's very important to test before giving it to others. You may find you need to test quite a few pieces, this is essential for quality control.) Today I adapted Betty Crocker's classic 'Black Midnight Cake' -- If you hunt down one cookbook in your life, hunt down the old school 1969/1972 version of the Betty Crocker cookbook. It never lets you down, always has a brilliant recipe for whatever you want and has a fab vintage/retro feel, largely because it is. 

Anyway, I bake to relax, to unwind and to think, and this afternoon was no different. I was reflecting on a good morning at church and enjoying spending time with God in the main meeting. This is no mean feat when you have 2 small boys and a husband who is up the front doing music or announcements or preaching, just generally leading- often a Sunday morning can feel something of a mini marathon. Now, I'm not gonna lie, it is hard to stay expectant for God to move in your heart when you are simultaneously spooning spaghetti hoops into a toddlers mouth while getting a fire engine sticker out of his hair, and with the other hand doing 'magic fingers' for a baby and singing "We bow down" while actually on your knees doing all these things!  But this morning I found that if I just kept one part of my brain quietly in love with God while doing all these other things, it was like being lifted out of a black midnight into a bright morning. For in God's eyes, I'm not a beleaguered mummy, I'm a beloved child, and in the words of one of my favourite hymns:

"Ransomed, healed, restored, forgiven,

Who like me His praise should sing."

If you hunt down one truth in your life, hunt down this:

"The chief end of man is to glorify God and to enjoy him forever." (Westminster Catechism)

I am made not for myself, not for making cake, not for others, not for wiping children's noses, not for something nebulus, not for something unknown. I am made for this- to know God, to love Him, to live my life to glorify Him, to enjoy knowing him, to enjoy loving him. Knowing that truth, deep in my heart, makes many black midnights turn into bright mornings.



Black Midnight Cake (adapted)

2 1/4 cups plain flour

1 2/3 cups sugar (I make 1/3 of a cup dark brown sugar)

2/3 cup cocoa powder

1 1/4 tsp baking soda

1 tsp salt

1/4 tsp baking powder

3/4 cup dairy free marg (you can use butter or shortening)

2 eggs

1 tsp vanilla

1 1/4 cup water

Heat oven to 180C/ 350F. Grease a 13x9 pan. Pop all the ingredient in a big mixing bowl and beat together until smooth. Tip: add the water in stages so there's less of a splashy mess when you turn the beaters on.  Pour into the pan and into the oven for about 40 minutes or until a toothpick in the centre comes out clean. Cool in the pan, cut into squares and enjoy the fudgy yummyness.





Lefties and Haybales

A variety of studies show that less than 10% of the world is left-handed (source: wikipedia font of all knowledge). However, I may have produced 2 left handed little boys. For the first time today I watched Luke grab for toys--and he did it--you guessed it--left handed. He also chooses mainly to chew his left arm, take out his soothie with his left arm and cuddle his blanket with his left hand. Strong early evidence.  Joel is unquestionably left-handed. He chooses to use that hand for all of his major activities: eating, digging, colouring with permanant markers while I stand hovering with wet wipes, and most importantly, making haybales.

Making haybales. For those of you who have never made toddler haybales a la Joel, allow me to explain. You will need a lot of freshly cut grass, so that you have loads of clippings left in piles to scoop up. You will also need a ride on car. Joel uses his Chuggington car for this, as it comes with a haybale maker. The haybale maker is cleverly disguised as the seat of the car, and lifts up to reveal a compartment for storing toys or treasures if you wish, however it is really for making haybales. In order to make a haybale, you lift up the 'seat' and stuff as much freshly cut grass or rotting leaves or old dry grass or freshly fallen leaves inside. It doesn't matter if it doesn't all fit, the bigger the haybale the better.  Once you have filled the 'haybale making compartment' then you squoosh it as hard as you can by pressing on the 'seat' i.e. haybale maker and jump up and down a few times. Then in order to check the durability of your haybale, run as fast as you can, pushing the car, preferably down a gravelly path so that there is a lot of bumps. Then after about 10-15metres, stop. Unload the haybale into the middle of the path and proceed to begin again with a new pile of grass.

I dedicate this haybale making lesson to Lucy Leach who patiently waited while this scene played out again and again and again and again around Boscawen park. :)  And for her and for all the little monkey toddlers making haybales I give you this cake:

Monkey Bread Cake 
(I personally like a less sticky monkey bread, so this is why I do it this way)

Do the dough in the bread machine on the dough cycle. If you don't have a bread machine, then do as for baking bread. Mix and let rise 1 hour, punch down, let rise another hour, then punch down and knead and proceed from there. 

1 cup milk/ soymilk
2 tbsp butter/ dairy free marg
1/4 cup sugar
1 tsp salt
1tsp cinnamon
3 cups plain flour
2 1/2 tsp yeast 

******************

3/4 cup melted butter

1 cup white sugar
2 tsp cinnamon

Once you have the dough, grease a tube or bundt pan really really well. Roll the dough into small pieces a little smaller than a golf ball - about the size of a large marble.

Dip the dough balls in the melted butter and roll them in the cinnamon/sugar mix. Layer them in the pan. and bake at 180C/350F for about 35 minutes until nicely risen and golden and crisp. Pull the edges away with a plastic knife if needed and turn the cake out of the pan after about 10-15 minutes. Best served warm, eaten with fingers pinching out the yummy dough balls.

*If you don't have a tube pan you can do them as muffins- grease the tray and pop 5-6 dough balls in each cup. They still bake for about a half an hour. Or make the pieces even smaller and do mini muffin monkey bread, yummy! *




When you've turned it all out if you think--hmm, this needs some caramel sauce-- then do this:
1/4 cup butter
2/3 cup brown sugar
2 tsp water

Bring it to the boil stirring constantly and cook for about 2 minutes until all the sugar is dissolved and it starts to thicken a bit. Drizzle over the cake or the muffins or serve as a dipping sauce if using immediately.

a day to celebrate new beginnings

Yesterday I was privileged to celebrate the upcoming wedding of my friend Sarah in the afternoon and then in the evening got the wonderful news that my friend Claire had given birth to a healthy baby boy. Fabulous. I love happy days of looking ahead- whether its a baby and the promise of a new little life or a wedding and the promise of a new together life.

There is that feeling of giddy anticipation, like when you set out on a really long trip and you think ...Have I got everything? ...Did I pack pants?..Do you have the directions? ...Where will we stop? ...When will we go? ...Will it be okay? ....I hope its good...I hope we don't end up in hospital...I hope its a laugh...Did you pack socks? ....

Only this time it's not just a trip there and back, its a trip into the unknown. A trip of faith. A first step on a strange and winding road. An adventure waiting to happen. A story yet to be told.

As you set out on new journeys my prayer for you is that you would embrace the new. Forget about the 'what could have happened?' and enjoy the happenings. Remember that it is never too late to learn or to try something new. When you hit a low, look up and remember the highs. That will help carry you through to the next one. Remember you are more than 'just a' whether its 'just a wife' or 'just a student' or 'just a mummy' or 'just another guy'--YOU are an amazing person created by God to do great and wonderful things. You will never be 'just a'.  And, whatever direction the road goes, know that somewhere, maybe way back at the beginning, maybe in the middle, or even if it's near the end...
I am praying for your journey, wherever you are. x

Its an easy choice for the cake that goes with this memory...
for Sarah -your quick reference!  for Claire - you cannot fail!

Microwave Chocolate Cake (adapted from BBC good food)

4 tbsp self-rising flour
4 tbsp brown sugar (or white if it's all you have)
2 tbsp cocoa powder
3 tbsp milk
3 tbsp vegetable or sunflower oil
1 egg

splash of vanilla or almond or orange extract (to make the cake a different flavour)
You can also add in chocolate sauce or a spoonful of nutella or a handful of chocolate chips if you want.

Stir it all together in a deep cereal bowl or a cappuchino (big) mug.
Microwave on high (800) for 2 minutes.

Serve warm with cream/ ice cream/ clotted cream - whichever is your preference.
It serves 2 self controlled people with ice cream or 1 very greedy woman by herself after the ironing is done and the children are asleep and she's standing in the kitchen poised with a spoon for as soon as the microwave beeps to pull it out and go omnomnomnomnom......